You have been forewarned that this post contains no important information. (Maybe I should just begin every post with that statement?) Seriously if this were a book, the content of this post would definitely not qualify as a chapter. There is truly nothing that furthers the plot in here.

Nevertheless, I am saddened to say that I am still in the dark regarding the whereabouts of water-delivery-guy number one. I was unfortunately/fortunately not at work on the day of water delivery. (I needed a personal day, okay?! SUE ME. I don’t have to explain why because it’s none of your goddamn business. I’m just very tired and overwhelmed and people are mean and I needed to be in bed until 11 and do my laundry and also I felt like there was a small demon setting up shop in my ovaries and throwing a party in my uterus that morning, causing extreme chaos and upheaval). Bottom line is I cannot provide an update. Get off my back (and out of my body, tiny demon).

I came into the office post water delivery to discover a single water jug sitting by my desk. I spent the day looking at the jug, wondering whose gloved hands touched the shiny blue plastic… Who walked through this office door just 24 hours ago and delivered this vessel of cold clear liquid? Was it water-delivery-guy number one? Water-delivery-guy number two? Is there a water-delivery-girl I might have missed? I used to dread delivery day and now I find myself counting down. Counting down to the answer. Counting down to the truth.

Also I think I might have lost my mind?

Also ALSO (kind of like a P.P.S, no?) someone please help me carry this giant-ass blue jug into the kitchen. It’s way heavier than the empty ones I am accustomed to carrying.