My friend told me that a woman he knew was passing, and I quote, “a shit ton of kidney stones.” He then proceeded to explain that the reason for the copious amount of stones was the quantity of tea she had been drinking. He conveniently told me this while I was drinking tea. He had no other details. 🤦

I’m sorry but you cannot just not provide further information. What kind of tea was she drinking? Was it the powdery kind you stir in? Was it a Lipton situation? Green? Black? Oolong? Is there a lawsuit pending, or is this a common-knowledge-drink-at-your-own-risk type deal? Should it come with a warning? Should we alert the Surgeon General? I personally don’t know much about the Surgeon General’s job responsibilities, but I know for damn sure I’ve seen the title on liquor bottles and there seem to be parallels here.

I’m now afraid of something I didn’t even know I had to fear. Every time I have any kind of discomfort, I assume I’m going to piss out a pebble. I can only hope that my stones are not as plentiful as the stones of this poor nameless woman.

Why did you tell me this?!?!?