I haven’t thought much of my water delivery dilemma recently. It has been smooth sailing (delivering). Water-delivery-guy number two even apologized for tracking snow into the building during a recent drop-off. Not even his fault, the little angel.

As for water-delivery-guy number one, his whereabouts are still a mystery. I’m starting to think he won’t ever return. (I don’t know about you, but my mind goes right to scandal. I have a sense he resigned in disgrace.) It doesn’t matter. It’s his loss. Literally. The poor man might have lost his job. But I’m over him. We’re both looking for different things. If he can’t handle me at my worst, he doesn’t deserve me at my best. Am I just stating cliché break up phrases now? Yes. Bottom line is I’ve moved on.

During the last delivery, water-delivery-guy number two returned once again. And as soon as he walked through the damn door and the frigid air followed him in, he looked directly into my eyes with those baby blues and said “Hi, Sarah. How are you today?” This mother fucker knew my name immediately.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of

Sarah Lehman
~and~
Water-Delivery-Guy Number Two

Date to be determined
Time to be determined
Location to be determined
Menu to be determined, but there will definitely be water
(Name of groom should probably be determined at some point too)

Reception to follow

Yes, thank you. We are very happy. And water-delivery-guy number one, you are invited if you are mature enough to handle it.

But seriously, is it just me? Does water-delivery-guy number two know every customer’s name? Is he some kind of savant? Is he stalking me? Is it self-involved and/or paranoid to think the person delivering water to your workplace might potentially be stalking you just because they know your name? I don’t know and I don’t care. I could listen to his small talk about the weather while the receipt prints any day of the week (usually Wednesdays, obviously, but I’m open to other possibilities).